Sometimes I feel like there are that many versions of ME and what I need to do and in all honestly, I think this is just a state of normal for anyone out there who has different "things" in their life - be it family, work, fun, etc - there is stuff to balance and manage.
Something I miss doing is writing and updating my blog more often - it seems I am down to once a week and I need this outlet so I have to take that splintered photo of myself and prioritize what I NEED to do to stay "sane". Writing is up there at the very tippity top of the list - it is my way of practicing self care.
I ran on empty for a LONG time and did not do anything for me like ever. As a mom, it is so easy to get swept away on what everyone ELSE needs and I was like that way before I ever gave birth. I will not run on empty anymore. I need to focus on what I need to do and how I need to do it but lately, it has not been easy and as all the parents in the land know, it is almost time for the most dreaded season of all seasons - SUMMER VACATION.
Now, listen to me, I love my kids so damn much. I treasure my time with them now but before I lived only for them - I planned activities up the arse each and every summer. I kept them rocking and rolling from 7am (when they woke, the little b-words) to 10pm at night for bed. Last summer, I was undergoing radiation so it was the first summer that I did not go balls to the wall in terms of activities and it was kind of brutal.
My kids, like all kids, love to fight, to complain about being bored and oftentimes now, I just have to let it go because I CANNOT do what I used to do. I mean, I could but I do not want to because then I wind up collapsing and not doing the things I need to do FOR ME.
I often have big plans for the summer academically - for summer reading, for homework activities and just to help with skills but it always falls to the wayside of fun, fun, fun. This year, though, my son needs to focus on his handwriting and his essay writing skills and I dread it with every fiber of my being.
But before all of that, in these last few days of school, I am going to work on what is nonnegotiable for me. I know I need to write, I need to promote my small business (check it out and let me know what I am doing right and what I am doing wrong - www.thenextstep1234.com) and I need to work on building out my nonprofit.
Of course I also need to have some fun and enjoy my kids - I see them growing up so quickly now - and I have tons of follow ups with Sloan for my clinical trial, Lupron shot and surgeon. I also have the 9/11 WTC program, which I am working on writing about as well. Oh and maybe a vacation at the end of August.
What are your plans? How do you practice self care? What is important to you? How do you keep your kids (if any) from kicking each other ALL SUMMER LONG? Asking for a friend. :)
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