In getting back to the business of living as I started talking about in my last blog post integrative-medicine-clinical-trials.html, the next step is to find a job. I alluded to my experiences at my last full time job in my open letter to myself an-open-letter-to-me.html and I truly do not believe in being the disgruntled former employee type - even on the internet. Suffice it to say, I was not meant to be where I was and all of the negative energy that could be expanded on that is better used as positive energy to heal and pick myself up off of the floor.
And now the question is -- what do I want to do? I am applying to jobs across the board right now. I am a weird person who has had multiple careers (some concurrently) - I have been an executive, educator and entrepreneur. I am not sure any of those fit right now.
I know I love to write and I am happy to share that I am working on my fictionalized story about a single mom with one breast trying to get lucky in life (oh and with this I signed up to be a part of the Visible Ink program at Memorial Sloan Kettering and was paired with an amazing mentor named Samantha). I love to read and obviously I live to write BUT I have never been able to crack fiction writing. Ever.
Becoming a best selling author is probably NOT going to happen so the question is where do I go from here? I have spent the last 9+ months focusing on survival and although I am trying to just live in the moment there are times where I wonder and worry what the future holds for me health-wise. It is not really something I can fully control so I want it to be something I do not have as much time to think about.
The summer was restful and restorative and for that, I am so thankful. Now, the fall is here, the kids are in school and though I am a little busy every day with fitness, blogging and looking for my next step (oh and cleaning the house, laundry and all that jazz) those things are not really enough for me to hang my hat on PLUS there are those pesky bills piling up and though I have spoken about my budget in the past (managing-life-stresses.html) we definitely cannot keep up on one income.
All of this has made me think about hearing my grandparents say, "When God closes a door, He opens a window." I am wondering what the window will be and if I will know when it is opened. I am looking and open for a new opportunity and I do know that sharing my health story can be a negative to finding that next step BUT it is a part of me and something I do not want to stop doing. In fact, I do not think I could stop doing it. I have mentioned in speaking to friends that it is like word vomit - something hits me and I want to share it and it just spills out into the blog post.
If you lost your job during your breast cancer plot twist, what did you wind up doing next? Have you changed careers and/or started new positions as a cancer (soon to be) survivor? I have the opportunity to walk into someplace and work without having the twice a month chemotherapy treatments that made me the walking dead. I have the chance to prove myself and show that i am more than just a diagnosis. I just wonder who will take the chance on me and if I am truly ready to take the chance on them? I have been burnt before and I will not make that change me - I am ready to be open for the opportunity to be more than just "cancer" Lisa.
This is what I think about in the time between....
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